“Forgiveness is a choice that you have to work on everyday. It is a lot like deciding to lose weight, it is hard, but when you reach your goal you are very proud.”-Morgan
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I am a survivor 
Dear Morgan, You have my respect for creating and writing and healing, you are not helplessly shouting, your voice is clear, carrying over miles – heard and understood. I don’t know many survivors who get even that right. Never be fooled into believing complacency means complicity. And, know this: we are all victims; in one way or another. I know a woman who has been beaten up every day for 42 married years – all that time, and a handful of people know. Do we judge a victim? Yes, of course! Far easier than judgment falling on ourselves. Whatever your desired outcome, you are communicating!! I said, quite recently, every tear we cry, is a tiny bit of glue. And, sometimes, that is all that is holding us together. But, go 2 or 3 days, then more – that glue hardens and we become strong again. Not whole. Never whole. God Bless you on your journey. May you find spiritual answers, when humanity cannot answer you. God Bless your words, may they fall on fertile ground, may they be accepted with honesty and love. With much love, Louise
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Thank you so much for your comment. I like that you said that our tears are like glue. That touched my heart. Thank you.
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You are so very welcome! 🙂 take care XX
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morgan, I feel the whole “foregiveness” idea is rubbish. Forgiving, for all intents and purposes, winds up being a choice where if we’re forgiving THEM, it is most likely at the expense of forgiving ourselves. If we’re making a choice, we should choose ourselves. The idea that forgiveness is the endgame, the ultimate goal is a goal for the offender, it is all the offender’s game, like he can do as he likes and you have to forgive – that is a game that should be rejected. That is what we call a lose – lose.
Real, saintly, fully-formed forgiveness is a great thing, at it will come, if God willing, we live long enough, until then, it’s a dream, a trap. We all needs years to work out what happened and try to deal with it, and “forgiveness” is only an attempt to sweep it all under the rug, and it’s no coincidence that the people who indoctrinated us in the importance of forgiveness are the ones who need forgiving.
In short, the Devil take THEM, protect yourself, forgive yourself first, and that will require enough time that you’ll be in a whole different phase of your life if and when you accomplish it.
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That is what I meant. Forgiveness of ourselves is so important, but it takes work. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him or my parents, but I can work on forgiving myself. I know when I do, I will feel much better.
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