Every day brings a new perspective on the abuse I faced. I know for some of my family reading this that it is hard to believe because these are good people. What is your definition of good?
If good is beating (or whipping, if that is the word you prefer. Or how about spanking) your daughter until blood runs down her legs. If good is touching your daughter when she hits puberty. If good to you is controlling kids with fear tactics and the wrath of God. If you think good is encouraging your son to hurt animals, then you need help. You seriously need a reality check.
The truth is scary, I understand that. I totally get that people think I am trying to just get attention. My goodness, if it was attention I wanted, I would fake a pregnancy. That is just the truth. Why lie about rape, it just doesn’t make sense?
I think the first step of dispelling the myth that rape isn’t ‘done’ by good people. Good people rape. According to the news, good people do stupid things. When you say, “He/She wouldn’t do that because they are a good person, you are victim blaming and taking the side of the rapist.” The following is an article of how good men do rape. http://www.salon.com/2012/12/13/the_good_men_project_is_being_awfully_sympathetic_to_rapists/
I have known that person for 25 years, I know they wouldn’t abuse a kid. Just because that person didn’t rape or abuse you when you were a kid doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen to me.
Rapists and abusers come in all shapes and sizes. Sunday school teachers, friends, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins, boyfriends, girlfriends, uncles, aunts, and more. ANYONE can be an abuser and the most important thing is to know the signs. Here are a few sources that help understand signs.
It is our job as adults, and even more so as survivors to know the signs and to do something. That is what it is all about we as a society much stop rape, molestation, and child abuse.
I know how I feel from the abuse I faced, and I would never want another to feel the way I do. I can’t stand by and let people like my parents and my uncle hurt kids. If I don’t step up and do something, the cycle continues and I want to break it.