Today is my birthday and I am happy. Last week, I was in tears because I knew my siblings would not text me for my birthday. I sobbed for two days. Now, I am fine with it.
Last night I kept dreaming that I was begging my adoptive parents to tell the truth. They kept refusing and I kept crying. It was exhausting I when the sun came up, I was too tired to get up. My husband let me sleep in while he went and got me some surprises.
When I woke up, my kitty was staring me in the face about six inches from my nose. She was meowing her head off! Then I saw she wanted to play fetch and I threw her toilet paper ball (Her favorite toy) to her. We did a couple of rounds and she made me laugh.
My husband came home and I just loved seeing him. I realized that this past year, I had lost a lot. I lost things and people that I cared so much about, but I also gained so much more than I lost. Sometimes I forget to think of what I gained.
This is what I gained: I can smile, truly smile. I can laugh without it being forced. I have a twinkle in my eyes. I have joy and love in my heart. I have a husband that loves me unconditionally and I love him more than anything. I have a network of people who support me and ‘get’ why I am doing this. I feel like the horrible past that has haunted me all my life is beginning dissipate like rain clouds on a sunny day. I have a desire to stop people like those I grew up with, so I can honestly tell them thank you for that. I finally know that God loves me no matter what!
It is an awesome feeling and yes it hurts that my family abandoned me, but I have so much more to be happy about!!