“Thou shalt not be a victim, thou shalt not be a perpetrator, but, above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.” – Yehuda Bauer


Easter thoughts

What  I am about to say is going to sound very not Christian.  It is just how I feel and once I explain readers will understand.

Shockingly, I HATE Easter.  It has nothing to do with God and Jesus, but everything to do about my abuser and rapist.

In the church that I grew up in, we did a HUGE Easter play.  Hundred, probably thousands of people would come to see the play.  It was moving and so powerful.  Basically, it was the play version of the “Passion of Christ”, but before the movie came out.  It would have probably have gotten awards if anyone of repute had gone.

The casting was what is resounding in my soul all these years later.  It was who they cast as Jesus.  They cast my rapist as Jesus.  So, he would be up in the front playing the most perfect human at church, then go home and molest me.  By this time, he had already raped two people and was well on his way to abusing me. 

So Easter is a hard holiday for me.  The fact that he can deceive so many people is so hard on me.  I can’t wait until God says, “Enough is enough.” I am so glad that the sun is going down, so that today will be over.

“In all the interviews I have done, I cannot remember one offender who did not admit privately to more victims than those for whom he had been caught. On the contrarty, most offenders had been charged with and/or convicted of from one to three victims. In the interviews I have done, they have admitted to roughly 10 to 1,250 victims. What was truly frightening was that all the offenders had been reported before by children, and the reports had been ignored.”
― Anna Salter, Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders

This just makes me sick.