Easter thoughts

What  I am about to say is going to sound very not Christian.  It is just how I feel and once I explain readers will understand.

Shockingly, I HATE Easter.  It has nothing to do with God and Jesus, but everything to do about my abuser and rapist.

In the church that I grew up in, we did a HUGE Easter play.  Hundred, probably thousands of people would come to see the play.  It was moving and so powerful.  Basically, it was the play version of the “Passion of Christ”, but before the movie came out.  It would have probably have gotten awards if anyone of repute had gone.

The casting was what is resounding in my soul all these years later.  It was who they cast as Jesus.  They cast my rapist as Jesus.  So, he would be up in the front playing the most perfect human at church, then go home and molest me.  By this time, he had already raped two people and was well on his way to abusing me. 

So Easter is a hard holiday for me.  The fact that he can deceive so many people is so hard on me.  I can’t wait until God says, “Enough is enough.” I am so glad that the sun is going down, so that today will be over.

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7 Comments

  1. I am so sorry that this happened to you. What a horrible thing to have this day of hope and wonder desecrated by such memories. Sending you all my love and prayers to get you through this difficult, difficult day 🙂

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  2. May I suggest an idea and it only and idea, rather than allow the power to remain with this horride person and destroy your holiday forever. What if you created a new memory of Easter one that fills your heart with joy. I totally understand that this may not be something you are ready to do at this time however from your post you I invision a very strong, determined lady who is committed to her freedom. I hope this idea helps if not now but in the future 🙂

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