Birthday girl thoughts

Today is my birthday and I am happy.  Last week, I was in tears because I knew my siblings would not text me for my birthday.  I sobbed for two days.  Now, I am fine with it.

Last night I kept dreaming that I was begging my adoptive parents to tell the truth.  They kept refusing and I kept crying.  It was exhausting I when the sun came up, I was too tired to get up.  My husband let me sleep in while he went and got me some surprises.

When I woke up, my kitty was staring me in the face about six inches from my nose.  She was meowing her head off!  Then I saw she wanted to play fetch and I threw her toilet paper ball (Her favorite toy) to her.  We did a couple of rounds and she made me laugh. 

My husband came home and I just loved seeing him.  I realized that this past year, I had lost a lot.  I lost things and people that I cared so much about, but I also gained so much more than I lost. Sometimes I forget to think of what I gained.

This is what I gained: I can smile, truly smile.  I can laugh without it being forced.  I have a twinkle in my eyes.  I have joy and love in my heart.  I have a husband that loves me unconditionally and I love him more than anything.  I have a network of people who support me and ‘get’ why I am doing this.  I feel like the horrible past that has haunted me all my life is beginning dissipate like rain clouds on a sunny day.  I have a desire to stop people like those I grew up with, so I can honestly tell them thank you for that.  I finally know that God loves me no matter what!

It is an awesome feeling and yes it hurts that my family abandoned me, but I have so much more to be happy about!!