About me

My name is Morgan. I am a survivor of child abuse and sexual assault. I have a heart that desires to help victims that are stuck in situations like I was. My entire adoptive family has turned their backs on me and are actively trying to fight against my standing for right. I will not stand back and watch victims be re-victimized by people who don’t understand. I want to help disband the idea of rape culture. If only a handful of people that read this can change their mindsets from victim blaming, then I am doing good.

57 Comments

      • Well, I am sorry you feel this way. I left because I got married and moved to follow my husband for school. I was raped. I don’t know what else you would call it. He came in the room I was in a ripped my pants off and forced me to have sex with him. I didn’t want to and he even admitted it to my parents. I am sorry that you think I am lying, I pray that God gives you the discernment to know that I and the other girl that says he raped us, that you will know it is true. Thank God that He is giving me the strength to step out and let the truth be known.

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      • Ok Laura tell us something. Were YOU present when he pressured her into sex? Were YOU present all the times a certain “mom” felt her up? Were YOU there in all of her sessions with the therapist? HELL NO YOU WEREN’T! If you call MY daughter a liar I will personally have you arrested for slander. As for child abuse YES she did suffer it. You do not know jack shit about Morgan or her issues because NO ONE in YOUR family cared enough to listen and believe her. If you do not wish to SUPPORT her then shut the fuck up! I WILL post the names of her attackers HERE for the entire world to see. Then tell me what kind of life those people will have? Getting a job when the Internet has labelled them as a rapist? And trust me Laura I do have enough Internet friends to make this go viral so fast your head would spin. Now I ask you this, Is bashing my daughter worth the threat of YOU KNOW WHO losing HIS face because of a viral comment online? If you think I am joking remember this – I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR WITH OVER 100,000 READERS. So all I have to do is ask them to share a comment……. or better yet – help Morgan write and autobiography. I will also say this – if I find out he has done this to Rach and Sephra he WILL lose face. I will begin a task of finding others whom he has victimized, besides the 2 I already chat with – not counting Morgan……. DO NOT MESS WITH MY DAUGHTER! Do you know how easy it would be for ME to begin a rumor online about you doing unlady like things and MAKE SURE your emplyer sees it? You are in MY playground now and leave my daughter alone.

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      • “Aunt Laura”, I cannot tell what you “know”, but obviously not much. As Morgan’s husband I can assure you that the trauma she experienced is as real as you or me.
        Morgan did not leave her adoptive “family” any more than would regularly be expected when a person gets married. As far as them turning their backs on her, let’s begin with our elopement. Yes, we ran off and got married without telling anyone. How did they respond? They cut off her cell phone mid-honeymoon and immediately did all they could to stir up trouble for us upon our return (such as Carol calling my mother and telling her that Morgan would cheat on me). Our church family threw a wedding reception for us welcoming us back and helping us be as successful as possible as we began our voyage of life together. With the exception of Tonya, who so thoughtfully provided us with a gift basket, we received no support or encouragement from Morgan’s side of the family. I practically begged Carol to attend our wedding reception and show support for Morgan, but she refused. Did Morgan’s side of the family ever do anything to help us? No. We lived in Hattiesburg for a year with an open invitation for her family to come visit us, how many times did they visit? Maybe twice. Once late at night after we were already in bed they informed us they (a limited portion of the family) would be stopping by because they wanted to see the new furniture I had provided for my wife (nicer furniture than she grew up with, if you really want to know.) We did not go and visit them that many times when we lived in Hattiesburg, but somehow we were always supposed to go out of our way to visit them not them come visit us (even though they frequented Hattiesburg much more often than we went to Colombia.) When we had to go retrieve a textbook of Morgan’s, Carol agreed to meet us for breakfast, but then she canceled and required us to drive out of our way to come get it (requiring me to be late to work, because I actually have a JOB.) Carol then proceeded to chew Morgan out upon seeing her (requiring my utmost self control to not forcibly require her to respect my wife.) Morgan’s so called “family” has only ever been rude to both Morgan and myself since we got married. We have both attempted to talk civilly on the phone with them, but to no avail. Yes, Morgan left Mississippi to stay with me, her husband (as any good wife might be expected to do), but her “family” turned their backs on her long before she moved from Mississippi and long before she even married me. God bless you.

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  2. Morgan you are such a brave woman. I admire you. keep doing what your doing. i love that you made a page to help other victims. I’m sorry you had to go thru that. it kills me knowing that a lot of women have to go thru this. its never the victims fault but personally i can’t help but blame the attacker. Clothing has nothing to do with it. You were the most modest person from my past that i knew. these people need to be locked up they don’t need to be on the streets. people let them walk for some reason though. that’s something i.ll never understand.
    keep doing what your doing morgan. keep telling ur story. Be the spokesperson for victims of rape. You will help so many people in the process. not just women, men too!

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  4. Morgan don’t let other peoples opinions on what THEY THINK happened get u down. that’s what ppl do best is deny. well all yall motha fuckers need to GET OVER URSELF! JUST CUZ U THINK SOMETHING DIDN’T HAPPEN DOESN’T MAKE IT SO. Denyin shit won’t change wat happened andake it go away either. if u don’t give a shit then u don’t even have the right to comment here! Get over urself the world doesn’t go how u think it does just cuz u say or think something.
    sometimes its best morgan to forgive and forget. totally. Family included. if they can’t accept what happened and stand behind u n be like I’m glad she’s happy u don’t need them in ur life. let them talk crap all they want. after all its just one idiot. Well idiots. opinion anyway. there’s a difference between fact and opinion

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  5. Berq, clarify it is her ADOPTIVE parents / family that is creating this mess. I know I wasn’t there for Morgan for many years, but she knows and understands why. But I am here now and I will NEVER turn my back on her. I encouraged Morgan to go with you to PA, and I have supported and encouraged you 2 since I learned about the marriage. Speaking as someone who has actually met her adoptive parents I can say this. OUTWARDLY they APPEAR to be good Christian people. BUT when I tell you with everything I have learned – they are NOT what they appear to be, believe there is something seriously wrong with those people. The person they are protecting (said rapist) reminds me of how Lewis’ family would protect Kim. He could do no wrong even when he raped Lewis baby sister Libby. If anyone said bad things about Kim they were blackballed pretty much. I see this happening with the adoptive parents. It is something they will never change, believe me I tried to make them see what Kim was and it was a wasted effort. So, do not try to convince them said rapist is a bad person, they will never see it that way. Ok off the soap box now so I can eat supper lol

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  8. Wow, I met a side of my cousin (Berq. I like that Evelyn) I would have never saw coming.  Wake up call, he’s not that 12 year old kid anymore. I knew that, but it takes a while for it to sear on my mind, when miles have separated us for around that same number of years. You are a good man, and if you’re not we’ll know. Your lady and mother-in-law will make sure of that. You’ve got my respect. Proud to be your family…Morgan, I am without words. Your mother and other friends say it so well. I know what it takes to say what you’ve said and to say it as lovingly as you have. I tip my hat to you. I don’t really know you to well, but from everything I’ve watched from the sidelines and been a part of in your chosen family, I know that you have not turned your back on any part of your biological, adoptive, or chosen family. From my perspective, right or wrong, I have witnessed, your continuing yearning to stay close with all of them, love all of them, forgive all of them, and desire for all to be a happy family. May your desires come true one day. God Bless and may others that need your story be blessed. You’ve got my respect. Proud to be your family too.

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    • Thank you so much, Luther. Evelynn is my biological mother. She is pretty cool, huh? Berquin is a great man, the best I have ever known. I am glad that God blessed me with such a great family. Thank you for your support, it means so much. It is hard when others comment that I am a liar and just want attention. However, it means the world when people help me speak out against abuse. I just want it to stop.

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  9. I am forever grateful to those whom Morgan calls family. She speaks highly of you and I am glad she has you cheerleading for her too! I also cannot tell you how proud I am of BOTH of them. AND I bet Berq doesn’t like my loving nickname does he lol

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  10. BTW another thought here…. As those who choose to live in the dark about what happened to yyou, remember PSY classes in college….. they are the ones in denial. It is them who now need help to come to terms with it IF they ever admit to themselves that you have spoken 100% truth.

    They say a Mother has an explainable bond with her children and I believe I do. Every night you cried yourself to sleep, my heart heard you. Every pain you felt my heart felt it too. Every tear that you cried I cried too. But at the time I never understood why it was happening. Every time you awoke with a nightmare – I did too. I have felt your pain even before I knew you had it.

    As for those in denial of what occurred they can only be helped so far until it is time for them to own up and accept it. Until then there isn’t much else you can do. It would be like beating your head against a brick wall.If they never accept it then it’s on them not you.

    ANOTHER thing. Because your adoptive parents portray themselves as upstanding Christians, let me tell you a lil something the good book says.BECAUSE they would rather believe a lie – remember what the Apostle Paul say – better they believe a lie and be damned…….YOUR blood will be on THEIR hands when they stand before Christ in judgement. That might be the only place they will ever accept that all of this happened.

    YOU have done your part sweetheart. YOU informed them. It is now up to them to accept it. YOUR hands are clean sweetheart just remember that. I am PROUD of you and how you have chosen too open up about this.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Hopefully soon I can give you a real hug………

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  11. Ah i figured she was ur real mom. i should have been more specific. I’m glad you found her. Its no problem i want to stop abuse too. While i may not have been in your situation in a sense i understand what your going thru. Abuse can be hard. the bible also says judge not lest ye be judged. The devil comes to steal kill and destroy. guess their listening to the wrong voice in their head. They can’t tell which voice their praying to is god or the devil. How sad that is.

    all yall duchbags that think she’s lying need to keep ur damn opinion to urself! Ur ignorant. obviously your opinion and comments don’t count here since ur so blinded by ur own stupidity. Instead of puttin a load of bullshit denying being mean and shit maybe just maybe u need to take a good look at ur savior jesus ur talkin to. There is a saying what would jesus do u know. Jesus came here and taughr love others as you love yourself. love and accept ppl. So what if you think something else is going on ur supposed to pray for ppl and let god deal with them. newsflash ur not god. if u can’t do what jesus told u to do then maybe YOU aren’t the one that’s where they should be. if u love me keep my commandments. ur jesus said that based on what ur jesus said u aren’t obeying him. What does that mean. get the beam out of ur own eye before u try to remove the grain of sand from someone else. go somewhere else with ur bullshit.

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  12. Reading this it sounds like you have some amazing inner-strengths and courage Morgan. Thank you for sharing this, I’m sure there are a considerable number of people, including victims, who you have already helped. Don’t lose faith or let anyone crush this spirit 🙂

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  14. Thank you for following my blog. I hope you continue to enjoy it. I admire your strength and courage to speak out against injustice. Not everyone can do it.
    We are also a family that grew through adoption. We have two wonderful sons 20 and 16 though both their birthdays are within a month. We love them more than the world. Which is how your parents should treat you.
    Keep up the good work.

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  17. I think it is important that victims support each other. I am sure you read my recent post revealing the many years I endured and still am. I read some of your story and will read more. Each story of abuse I have read here on WordPress reminds me I am not alone. I hope you feel that way as well. Take care!!!

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  18. The good book does NOT tell us to forgive and forget. It DOES tell us to forgive and LEARN. To forget something such as trauma is impossible. It becomes a part of what shapes you and defines you, but it is never forgotten. So yes, forgive is possible, but there are things I will NEVER forget.

    In my case I was physically, mentally and emotionally abused by Morgan’s birth father. On my right wrist are fingernail shaped scars that will never go away. Every time I see these scars I remember how he grabbed my arm and wrenched the phone away from me when I tried to call 911.

    On my left hand on the pinkies and the back of the hand are STAB marks where he tried to stab me and I grabbed the knife. One was so deep it had to have stitches.

    There are daily reminders of the trauma all of us have gone through. But it’s how we view those reminders NOW. Will I ever be with a man like Morgan’s father again – HELL NO, why because I have forgiven him AND learned from it.

    The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

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  20. Hey, Morgan! thanks for being a real friend at GYC. What a blessing it was to hear those testimonies of changed lives at the Gay Puzzle seminar! Sin leaves permanent wounds and scars, on both the innocent and the guilty. Jesus Christ alone has the blood-bought power to cleanse and remake us, and only He provides the repentance and transformation needed for every guilty sinner. I’m looking forward to the day when God Himself will wipe away all the tears of the redeemed in heaven. Have you ever read Laura Sisk’s book “Laura: One Woman’s Story, Every Woman’s Fear”? It was published by the Review and Herald in 1990. Laura, the wife of an Adventist pastor, was raped, and her book tells her story as well as the stories of others, plus reinforces and enlarges upon the facts you’ve listed in your blog. The front says, “An Adventist minister’s wife shares her personal triumph over the tragedy of rape, offering hope and healing to the sexually abused and providing practical guidelines for self-protection.” Used copies of Laura’s book are available on Amazon for as little as $5.58 (shipping included). Lots of love to you and your husband! Your sister in Christ, diane

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  22. Pingback: MORGAN FEESE | THOUGHTS OF A POET IN THE RAIN

  26. Pingback: Brave Heart Award | A Victims Journal

  27. I have nominated you for the Brave Heart!! http://avictimsjournal.wordpress.com/2014/03/25/brave-heart-award/

    Stand Strong You Are Not Alone
    I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.
    Each step you take you are not alone.
    Stand Strong.

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